Did It!

I did it!  I actually completed a 5k Run/Walk (I walked, obviously), and best of all...I did NOT come in last!  Close, but not last!

Yesterday most of my family participated in the 5k Run/Walk to honor my daughter's college graduation.  It was waaaay better, and waaaay more fun, than sitting through an actual graduation, although we'd have done that if she'd chosen that. 

Look at us there, all rarin' to go!

Thankfully it was a chilly, rainy day so there was very little, if any, sweating involved.  I do NOT sweat if at all possible.  It is not my thing.  

I had two personal goals for yesterday:

1)  to finish

AND

   2) to NOT finish last.  

Accomplished both, thankyouverymuch!! 

(Andy, Colleen, Chelsea, Bobby and moi)

It was a joyous feeling crossing that line with so much of my family close by, especially seeing my husband's smiling face waiting for me!  

I have no idea what in God's name I was gazing off into the sunset for, but this man is my biggest fan, and I cherish that.  I don't always tell him that, but I do.  His love gives me the courage to go out into this world and do what I gotta do.  We all deserve to feel that.  

Anyway...

I had fun, I felt good, and yes, I'd do it again.  

I HAVE RACE STATS!

Here are my STATS.  

Pretty lame but they're MY STATS!  

↑  Our graduate!  ↑

(Cate, yourstruly, and Bob)

(Bob, Colleen and Andy aka HotDogMan)

(Josh, Chelsea, Bobby, Autumn, Cate, Adrienne, and Colleen)

(Autumn and Adrienne)

(Cate, Autumn, Adrienne, Colleen, Chelsea, Bobby, me)

(my baby, Colleen and me)

'Til next time...

Walk on.

     

I Did What?!

My daughter is graduating from college with a BA in Psychology on May 19 of this year.  Rather than walking at her commencement, she's chosen to run a 5K in support of Suicide Prevention.  She inspires me on so many levels without even realizing it.

That being said, she innocently said, "you should sign up to walk it, Mom."

I innocently said, "I think that would be fun."

So I innocently went online and registered for the 5K Run/Walk.

As I hit the "Submit Entry" button, it hit me what I had just done.

I had just committed, both physically and monetarily, to walk 3.1 miles!

3.1 miles.

In public, with other people, lots of other people, without stopping.

And wearing a number "bib".

Oh.  My.  God.

Should I use my poles??

I should use my poles.

I'll use my poles.

I better start walking every day between now and then, that's for damn sure.

Pray for me.

Walking to Ease Pain

Last year at this time, my Spring vacation from school, my back went out.  Two days ago, again on my Spring vacation, my back went out.  It's been hurting so badly that I haven't been able to even stand straight...echoes of the past.

After three Motrin last night, this morning, and again this afternoon, with no relief, I knew I had to do something else.  And then I remembered.

I remembered that walking, no matter how slowly, causes the blood to flow through the pain and warm whatever hurts.  I needed to ease the pain.  And then I remembered something else.

My walking poles.  My saviors.  My sleek, blue, strong, quiet, loyal saviors.

I started so very very slowly; had anyone been watching, it might have looked odd to see this middle-aged woman walking around her back yard, dressed in her yard clothes and rubber boots, holding on to her beautiful blue walking poles-almost for dear life.  

But I walked.  

I visited the blueberries, the small patch of garlic we're growing, the blackberries.  

And I walked.

When I got back to the house, I turned around and walked some more.  

After the first 20 minutes, I could feel the warmth spreading throughout my back.  The longer I walked, the warmer and better it felt.  

So much better that I stayed outside for hours.  

Ever so slowly, I raked a bit, cut back some berry bushes, then raked some more.  We planted eight pussy willow bushes, hoping that they'll grow to their full height of 25 feet and create a privacy hedge.

     The sunshine warmed me, the wind cleansed me, 

working in the dirt filled my soul.  

All because I walked with my poles, ever-so-slowly.

Ever.  So.  Slowly.

With my poles.  

My saviors.  

My sleek, blue, strong, quiet, loyal saviors.

I Knew It

I knew it, I knew I'd quit and I was right.  I have not walked steadily, either at work or at home, since school started last August.  Eight months wasted.  Eight fucking months.

I'm pretty sure I'm up in weight, and when I look in the mirror, I am disgusted. 

Even the look of my hands disgusts me...I can't get my wedding rings off. 

Why. Why can't won't I do it.

Because I can, but I won't.

What the hell is wrong with me?

Summer Failure

I failed at something, again.

I knew I would, which is why I didn't think I should start.

Because I am:

     a quitter
     lazy
     a complainer
   
I don't like where I am in life right now, mentally.

I am:

     uninspired
     predictable
     overweight
     getting old
     sore
     lazy
     unhappy with me

School starts in 15 days, and I AM planning on walking daily when I get there. Let's see if I fail at that, too.

Or Not

I should change the title of this to "NOT Walking My Way Back"...cuz I haven't walked in almost two weeks.

But last night I had an mental talk with myself, and I feel a little better now.

I told myself that during the school year, 180 days in all, I walked almost every single day, rain, shine, cold, as long as I was safe (avoiding ice, etc.).

And that's quite an accomplishment.

Plus, when I went to my annual obgyn appointment and had to get. on. the. scale...it showed that I'm down about 4 pounds from where I thought I was.  So...that's another positive accomplishment.

Now that the humidity and heat have arrived, I spend a lot of time indoors where it's cool; my body and mind do NOT play well with others when those "others" are heat or humidity.  Never ever have.

Without a doubt, I will begin walking again five days a week when school starts, so I'm going to go easy on myself.

Amen.

I Did It!

Today is Day One of summer vacation...thank God.

I got up around 7:30 and sat on the back porch with my coffee and my book.  It was breezy and cool, so I decided that I'd walk today.

So I did.

And it was an easy decision...I didn't even try to talk myself out of it!

I walked 2.1 miles in about 39 minutes; longer than I usually take, but I wasn't power-walking, I was just walking a little faster than usual.  

I need to be kind to myself.

On the way home, my the mind-chatter told me to go straight home, not to take a left and make it a two-mile walk.

But my body went ahead and Took. The. Left!!  I couldn't even believe it!!  

Here I am, sweating on the back porch...but damn happy that I DID IT! 

Thank You, God.